I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
