Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I intend to get homeless drunk
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
