He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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