I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
