Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize