if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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