No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
