We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I love you. Go after that dick
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
