So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
