My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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