i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
