I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
