How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Come share oat with me in your robe
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My life is pants optional.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
