wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
