I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
