carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
