Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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