why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
FUCK WHALES
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize