Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
