I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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