i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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