i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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