Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
