Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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