Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
