She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
