all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
