I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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