do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
