i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
