Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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