i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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