what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
