I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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