I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
