You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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