Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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