my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
