sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
