is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
