she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Everything about him screamed your future.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
