I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
