yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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