found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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