Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
