direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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