it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
