I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Randomize
