Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
