1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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