I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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