Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
