I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
