everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sorry about my life...
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