I only kidnapped one of them. chill
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
