I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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