I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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