I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
