So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
