based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
