Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
