Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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