And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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