used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
