fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You can't special order awesome
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Randomize
