he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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