do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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