Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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